Spam Back

Sometime back, I had written about how I got back at spammers

I got some suggestions on 'best practices' followed by some of my friends. One of my friends actually subscribes to paper spam. He fills out any of the forms which ask for his address but ignores the ones which ask for email. He apparently gets about 4-5 envelopes everyday from Vacation Time shares, Credit Cards, Jewellery, Magazines and Major Religions/Cults.

And herz what he does with them:

• Good 'Toilet Reading' material
• Some of them contain useful stuff like Calendars
• Stuff for his toddler to tear up/scribble/drool or whatever
• And 'Raddi' paper if nothing else.

I suggest that he mails back the self-addressed 'Postage paid by addressee' envelops so that our cash strapped postal department can make some money out of these morons. I assume they don't subsidize the mailing cost of envelopes though. God save them if they do.

I was also kinda hoping I could get one of these phone lines like they kind the 'Party Line' and 'Astro Line' have... you know...where you are charged 6 bucks per minute for calling them, and the money goes to the people running these 'services'.

I wanna get one of these lines and go around town dropping my number to all the cold calling morons and just watch my bank balance swell while they try to convince me that a personal loan at 144% p.a is good just because its 'pre-approved'.

Crazy

lyrics - crazy

Happy Holidays

Enjoy the long weekend! Therz no holiday like a Monday Holiday.

See you soon! Merry Christmas!

Ewww

Am not sure if this is for real, but it looks horrid enough to be. Check out the 're-invention' of Betty & Veronica from Archies.

Okay, I admit I don't fit into their target audience anymore and it really has been ages since I read a new one (I flip through the old digests since the stories are perfect for bathroom reading).
But this just seems ghastly.

If Charlie Brown could go through all those years wearing the sweater with the zig zag pattern and Calvin with his striped tee why not the Riverdale gang? (Ya Ya! The Peanuts strip did go through a lot of stylistic changes over the years, but thats not the point.)

I think the committee managing the strip ought to relook at content. When was the last time you read an Archie story that wasn't a rehash of a rehash of a rehash of a lame story to begin with.




Update: It's just been about half hour, and I've already begun to find the new artwork 'okay'. Considering the disaster that was 'The New Archies' (remember that anyone?) I am not sure if this one is going to last long though.

Coff Coff

Had a bad cough (still do), and a slight viral (which has gone ahead for greener pastures).


The past week's kinda hazy though, I mean I don't really remember where one day ended and the other began. I don't get sick often, maybe once ever two years or so. So I often forget what its like to be sick. And i even find myself wishing I get sick...you know, just to see what it feels like. Well, it sucks! I hope now that I have documented that I don't like being sick, I stop wishing I fall sick ever again.

But I did go to my apartment on Saturday. It gives me a real high just walking around in that place and imagining living there. I know for sure that actually living there will not be anywhere as great as it is in my mind right now.

I always wanted a couple of oil paitings in my house. But the problem is the paintings I need are 'in my head'. I see them perfectly in my head, but the lesser said about my drawing/painting talent the better.

The first would be a painting of the lagoon in Central Park in New York. Its winter, and therz snow all around and the lake is frozen. Therz a van parked on the outer edge and a guy is leading these ducks and puttin em in the van.

The second is of kids playin in a field near a ledge.Therz this guy we can't see too clearly. Hez wearing a red hunting hat with its peak turned the other way. All set to catch any kid who steers too closely to the ledge.

Those of who read this blog regularly know what these two paintings mean and why I want em so bad. If only I knew someone who can paint em for me. Anyone????

Spam Spam Spam Spam

During the course of a normal day, I end up answering 4-5 calls from credit card companies, clubs, phone companies, matrimonial services (take my word for it) etc.

I usually save all these numbers under the group 'spam'. You would be surprized at how many times you get calls from the same numbers. Almost half of my junk calls originate from the same numbers. I figure its a 'phone call sweat shop' which works for multiple clients and they prolly invested in database of a list of numbers and try to maximize their investment by calling each number for each of their clients.

In any case, it used to be a big time saver since I would see 'Spam' in the caller ID and would not pick up the phone. But then, I got this idea. Over the next month (In October and November), I filled up every darn form asking for feedback and numbers and lucky draws and free Everything Extravaganza and Discount Sales and Promotions and all. And instead of giving my number, I filled up these numbers from the Spam group.

Now, whenever I feel down or depressed, I just imagine these spamming morons calling each other up and tying up their phone lines, selling them crap they don't need. There, am smiling again. Life's good.

Innocence

Last weekend we were watching a show featuring kids where kids showcased some ideas to 'make the world a better place'. The ideas were uh.. 'cute' (which means they were dumb, but since kids have the IQ roughly equaling a jar of mayonnaise, I guess they were okay).

My friend told me that she found the ideas 'cho chweet and creative' and that she likes kids mainly for their innocence...

What made me realize that my own IQ was no better was that I chose to tell my friend what I thought about the ideas. Needless to say I spent the next half hour or so with a glazed look while nodding reactively every 35 seconds, all while imagining Anna Kournikova and Bipasha Basu mud wrestling. (Its great to be a guy ain't it?)

Seriously though, once Anna and Bips were thru, I spent some time thinking what was wrong with me. Why was 'innocence' so highly regarded? Was it the idea by itself that was 'cho chweet' or was it the kid?

It couldn't have been the kid. I mean if the kid was mouthing profanity it wouldn't have evoked the same reaction.

If a 40 year old pot-bellied drunk gave the same lame-brained idea? Would he be considered cute?

Then it struck me...

Innocence is a function of age.

If you are stupid but it’s considered okay for your age, you are cute.

E.g.

12 year old girl askin "Daddy, how are babies born?" - Cute and potentially embarrassin for dad.

32 year old girl askin her husband "I wanna have a kid. Any idea how they are made? Do I fill in a form?" - See what I mean?

I know you will not take in my point of view, so I got I googled and found a nice quote from a famous (I hope) dead (am guessin) person which kinda points to what I have been babbling all along.

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't. - McLaughlin, Mignon

P.S. All you guys, in case you are wondering. Bips won the contest.

Stop Press: Mignon McLaughlin was an American journalist and author who lived from 1913 to 1983.

Nice pome..

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.

- Arnold Lobel

I also wanted to put up a nice pic of a huge pile o books which i found on the net. But Blogger seems to be on the blink and isn't showing me any formatting options. I regret having signed up for the Blogger Beta.

Update: The formatting and picture uploading options are back in Blogger