Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Rahman Theorem

A few years back, I lost my entire music collection during a 'nerd phase' (I must have been trying to install a pre-alpha version of some Linux based OS or something like that). 

Anyways, I managed to rebuild most of the collection but lost out on a good chunk...a great chunk. One of the things I missed the most was my entire Rahman collection. I have every album of his... I mean every (yes, I had Vandicholai Chinnarasu, Pudhiya Mannargal, Uzhavan, etc etc) album. I was unable to find these songs for the past few years (thru methods both legal and otherwise). But yesterday I struck paydirt. I hit upon a site which had almost all the albums I needed. This coupled with the atrociously fast internet at Microsoft helped me rebuild the Rahman in just under half hour..and we are talking 41 albums here. 

Anyway that's not what I want to talk about... while downloading these albums I realized something, which I will distill in a short simple sentence below (very unlike me, I know). And in order to tie it in to the post title, I call this...

The Rahman Theorem

The quality of music in any A.R. Rahman album for a movie, is either greater than or equal to the quality of the movie itself.

Think about it.

I personally rate the following among his 'worst' ones.... I dare you (I double dare you #$#$# ^*@#) to pick one of these (or any not in the list) where you feel that the movie surpassed the music.

Pudhiya Mannargal
Taj Mahal
One 2 Ka 4
Alli Arjuna
Anbe Aruyire
Azhagiya Tamiz Magan

See my point????

So in short, if you listen to a Rahman album and it sucks (even after repeated listening), expect the movie to suck like hell.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

More rules


Aah! Sequel posts are always a good fallback option. Here are more of ‘my rules


1. Enough with the bridge: I am seriously sick of the coverage on the sea link bridge in Mumbai. We took like 9 years to construct half a bridge folks! That’s right, my friend who visited from the city said that this is just half the bridge, of the 8 lanes which were supposed to be open, only 4 are open now. Why? Because only one side of the bridge is done. And how far along is the other side? Another 8 years probably, because they have barely started work on it yet!

In the time we took to pain the sign as '‘ Yet Another Rajiv Gandhi project by Congress sycophants’, China has completed 4 more bridges, 245 Km of highways, 2 massacres, and painted lead on 4 million toys.

2. Enough with the slum-dog kids: One of the varmints from that over-hyped god awful movie is left without a home? And another one of cretins is getting beat up by his dad? And yet another of those pests cannot afford to go to school? Guess what, they have millions of kids for company. And instead of helping solve *this* kid’s problem, shouldn’t we be helping solve *the* problem?

3. Enough with Kasab: If I see that same old photos of Ajmal Kasab one more time, I swear I will head-butt the anchor of the news show if I ever see her. You know the photos I am talking about:

We have this one:


And this was there for a short spell:


And now, we have this for ever since the trial started:


If your clipart department (or whatever you call it) does not have any new mug shots of him, its okay! It really is! Just show us pictures of Megan Fox during the commentary about the trial. Seriously!

And finally,

Do you see what is wrong with this ad for the iPod?


I have no idea how these model silhouettes get their earbuds to stay in place while they prance around to music by the Gorillaz! I have fairly normal earlobes (spent a lot of time looking at earlobes of the general public to arrive at this conclusion), and normal sized ears. And for the life of me, I cannot get my earphones to not fall out even when I am listening to my iPod in a bus!

Is there something that I am doing wrong? Please help me if you can mimic the above moves successfully!