Thursday, October 09, 2003

Four Fingered Philosophers

If Plato, Socrates or Hobbes (Thomas Hobbes not the one with stripes) were alive today wonder what they would do for a living... I don't see ads for philosophers (either part-time or full-time) in Monster, Naukri or Ascent. Sure, they could always join as a techie, and do their thinking while warming their rear ends on 'the bench'...

If I were to place my bets, I would figure that these guys would make a living as cartoonists (and ocassionally be a columnist too maybe). Think about it, this way they would get to make their point without having to drink hemlock. As cartoonists they can pan society for whatever it is that these guys panned us for..and get paid for it...and do all this while sitting in the bathtub and playing with their toys....uh...rubber duckies and battleships that is.

If you have read Peanuts (Snoopy), Calvin & Hobbes or even Dilbert, you would know what I am talking about... And if you have a rather low opinion on dilbert, take time out to read Scott Adam's book 'God's Debris'..its available as a free download on

Here below, I have put together a bunch of quotes from comic strips, some of which even form an integral part of my personal philosophy....which probably explains why I am kinda dysfunctional...anyways...go ahead. You will find it worth your while...


I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. - Sally

Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm Happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right? - Snoopy

That's the secret to life . . . replace one worry with another. - Charlie Brown

No problem is so big or so complicated that it can't be run away from! - Linus

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement. - WhoElse ??????

Homer Simpson

The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.

If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces,,...I just know they're about to jab me with something

If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here

No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.

Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get!

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles.

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little pratice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!

Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character

I have a hammer! I can put things together. I can tear things apart. I can alter my enviroment while making an incredible din the whole time. God, its great to be a male

Why should I have to Work for everything??? It's like saying I don't deserve it.

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

The secret to loving your job is to have a hobby that is even worse.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.

Girls are like slugs, they probably serve a purpose, but its hard to imagine what.

Childhood is short, maturity is forever.

True friends are hard to come by.... I need more money

It seems that once people grow up they have no idea whats cool.

In my opinion, We don't devote nearly enough scientific reasearch to finding a cure for jerks.

Why waste time learning, when ingorance is instantaneous.

I like maxims that don't encourage behaviour modification.

Why isnt the world unfair in my favor.

There's an inverse relationship between how something is good for you, and how much fun it is.

It's a lot more fun to blame things than fix them.

The key to hapiness is short-term, stupid self interest.

Give me the strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.

You know how people are. They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it.

Life's dissapointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

The remarkable thing about life's never so bad that it cant get worse

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.


The secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they are already met.

I don't know which is worse....that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.

It's not the pace of life I mind, its the suddent stop at the end.

As far as I am concerned, If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

I think life should be more like TV. All of life's problems ought to be solved within 30 minutes with simple homilies. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should carry powerful handguns. Of course, if life was really like that, what would we watch on TV?

"If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it." -- Hobbes

Calvin's Dad

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer conglomerates. Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? It's a beautiful world all right.

Dennis (The Menace)

Don't ever hold a grudge, ... Just belt them and forget about it.

Havin' a sister might not be too bad... 'specially if she's trained to kick people in the shins when you're losing a fight.

Dear God, No use tryin' to kid You... You know I done it.

How come I always get blamed for everything I do ?

I am giving you the right answers! You're just asking the wrong questions.

If you dreamed it was Christmas, and you woke up and it wasn't ... you'd be too disgusted to get out of bed, too !

No use arguin' with her. She always has the first an' last word... an' all the ones between.

The best thing you can do is get good at being you.

What does retired mean? Tired yesterday, tired again today... I guess


Dieting is like show business, the weight always returns for an encore