Q1 Racing

Last weekend, I had to go to the railway reservation counter to cancel a ticket. It's been ages since I went to one what with online tickets and all... In fact, I realized that its been quite sometime since I even stood in a queue. I do all my bill payments and ticket purchases online, and in places which require a queue, I shamelessly ask my fiancee to use the 'ladies Q'. Anyway, here I was standing in the queue of about 20, shuffling our feet every 30 odd seconds in a desperate attempt to make ourselves think we are moving forward. It gave me a chance to play what I call 'Q1 Racing'. Here is how it works.

Step 1: Pick a Q, Any Q

Unfortunately, Q1 requires that there be at least 2 queues in parallel, 3 would be ideal. If there are three Qs then pick the center one (I don't care if you feel the one on the left is moving faster. It's not...trust me). If there are only two Qs then you can pick any of them.

Next pick your competition. One person from each of the other Qs. Ideally you would want to pick one guy who is slightly ahead of you from one Q, and a guy who is in the same spot as you from the other. It would help if you selected sinister looking people who you hate just looking at. Fortunately every queue in the world is supplied with at least one.

Step 2: The set-up

Pretend you are in your own fancy sports car, racing car, bike, or even on a horse if thats your fancy. You are in the arena, surrounded by 100,000 fans shouting their lungs out cheering for you.

Set up the commentary box. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have the race of your lifetime here...Blah Blah". You know what am talking about. Revv up your engine (or giddy up your horse) and GO! You might want to make loud engine noises to create the appropriate effect, but this sort of behaviour (I learnt) is frowned upon.

Step 3: The Race
Over the next few minutes you will partake in a heady, adrenaline pumping race. Your heart will sink, when the sleazeball from the right lane overtakes you. (Try not to show him the finger though..) You heart will thump when you pull ahead of your apponents after a disaster stuck your lane (the lady in your counter goes to the loo). You will experience an exhilaration which would put orgasms to shame when you screech past to the finish line...the crowd goes wild and you lift the Ticket and show it to the wild fans and photographers...

Aah.. I hope that was my last race. I want to retire on a high note.