Earlier this week, a friend of mine asked me for help in deciding on a gift for his 'lady friend' (a term which is as weird as him). Now, normally I steer clear of anything which might even give the slightest indication that I feel i know what women want. But faced with sheer mind numbing boredom at office, I venture to give him a few nuggets of vixdom.
I have given below excerpts from our chat.
Friend: What do women like being gifted on their bday?
Me: well.... I will go out on a limb and actually claim a little experience in this area
Friend: u don't know? Do you?
Me: "something which gives them a glimpse of the future they wish to see", I have chosen my words carefully.
Friend: hmm
(Probably realizing he is going to get way more advice than he bargained for, and thinking of ways to end the conversation ASAP. But hez not goin to escape that easily)
Me: this birthday i actually opened my fist and bought sandhya a few gifts
and here is my scorecard
Friend: hmm
(Picturing himself sinking in a quagmire, a slow certain death)
Vikram_Mohan [03:34]:
Gift #1 - Mobile
Result: Flop. Since at the end of the, it was transactional. quid-pro-quo. She bought me mine, so I bought her hers. no big deal. In fact, since I went on to lose my mobile, she bought me another.
... and due to certain things, she will end up paying for HER mobile too. This might be the Ramgopal Varma ki Aag of gifts...
Gift #2: loads of clothes at Westside
Result: Ho Hum! No big deal. Just another thing to wear. no 'wow' factor.
Gift #3. Bean Bags
Result: Flop! She felt that i was spending too much money and insisted I stop. (Note: When women ask you to stop spending, never, ever take this seriously. Ever! Learn from my mistakes)
Friend: hmm (Not sure if he was actually copy pasting his 'hmm' by now. Or even paying a bencher to do it for him)
Me:
Gift #4: Surprize birthday cake.
Result: Semi-hit. We had a bad fight earlier and this helped thaw things a bit. But the fight took its toll on the gift's brownie point collections.
Gift #5: Got 'glow-in-dark' stars painted on bedroom ceiling.
Friend:wow! (Realizing that he can actually move this left ear with a great deal of concentration, and a mere flick of his fingers)
Me:
Result: Mega bumper super hit.
Which leads me to my second 'thumb rule'
Friend: CTRL + V -> hmmmm
Me:
if u have the first rule, can you copy paste it plz
Me:
i prefer having these things one after the other. also it will help me collect my thoughts
Friend:
nope i don't (Big surprise!!!)
Me:
ok.... i figure the reason this worked is....
women think (or is it know?) that we don't listen to them when they yap on and on. But if you give a gift which borrows an idea from some obscure thing she mentioned sometime while waiting for a double chocolate mousse on a rainy Wednesday... it shows them that you were..in fact... listening.
By now , my friend probably realized that he wasn't in fact chained to his desk as he erroneously thought and bolted for the cafeteria.
Epilogue:
Gift #6: Making veggie burgers (since she mentioned a craving sometime back), chilled cut mangoes (the way she used to get back home), Getting a horror movie (wifey loves the scary flicks) and also a backup movie (Enchanted, she adores it). And to top it off, Chocolate Mousse (Bought it, but it still counts)
Result: Well. Take a guess. (Hint: This whole thing happened about half hour back, and here I am blogging…and eating my chocolate mousse.) L
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