Drop that weapon

Airports are kooky. For various reasons. Each time I fly somewhere, I notice something flaky about airports or air travel in general. Whether it is orphan luggage, announcers who speak in tongues, or airport security, they all drive me up the wall.

Here I was, Sunday morning at the Chennai airport. I had inadvertently come in a good 3 hours early and so had a lot of time to kill. After having a sliver of a sandwich made of a rare South American cheese and endangered variety of wheat (I assume. Why else would he have priced it at 70 bucks?) I was loitering around and lookin at the displays.

They were playing a slideshow which told people what they couldn't bring on board... the usual suspects, Gel, matches, nail clippers etc. Borrring! Then the list turned interesting. The following are things they actually had to tell people not to bring on board. I am not kidding..honest to god.

• Shot Guns
• Rifles
• Crowbars
• Axe
• Disabling Chemicals
• Dynamite
• Cricket Bats (!!!)
• Swords
• Power Saw
• Saber
• Ski Pole
• Tear Gas

Apparently there were lot of people bringing these items and insisting on carrying them on-board.

Moron: "Arre bhai! Ek hi to rifle he, ise kyon nahi la sakte hein? Mein to hamesha mere guns aur bombs lekar aata hoon. Kisko pata kab kaam aa jaye! Chodo na yaar, jaane do na."

Are we really such a dumb nation that we have to be told not to take these things on board? Maybe we are. Anyway as a citizen I would like to do my bit by pointing out some things they obviously overlooked. Maybe the Committee for Inclusion of Dangerous Objects in Moronic List can include the following hazardous items too:

• My friend Nimish's socks
• Samurai Katana
• Anything Himesh Reshamiya
• Plutonium Reactors
• Andhra Pickle
• Uzi
• Economics Text Book
• Nimish's red shorts

Am glad I have done my bit for the safety of air passengers. When was the last time you did anything good for humanity? Ha!